Worst Type of Table

So I work in a casual restaurant, in a somewhat shaky part of town.
Here is an example of the types of tables we see on a regular basis.
It is Wednesday evening, which means All You Can Eat Snow Crab for $19.95.

Date: Wednesday Feb. 10
Time: 8:00ish pm
Location: Brooklyn Center, MN

Me:
How are ya'll doing this evening?

Woman:
Oh, we're great!

Man:
*nods*

Me:
Great! What can I get you to drink to start out the evening?

Woman:
We're both gonna have the crab special

Man:
Yeah

Me:
Wonderful! What can I get you to drink to start out the evening

Woman:
Whaaaaaat?

Me:
Yes ma'am, What would you like to drink?

Woman:
Do you have lemonade? Like flavored ones?

Me:
Yes we do ma'am, Strawberry Lemonade it is!

Man:
How much yo top shelf?

Me:
Top shelf what sir?

Man:
Yo top shelf!

Me:
We have lots of top shelf drinks sir. Which would you like?

Man:
How much this top shelf Long Island?

Me:
It's $6.95 or $7.95

Man:
Get me one of do's

Me:
And what would you like for your sides........(regular order speak not worthy of writing)

Time: 8:30ish pm

Me:
How is everything you guys?

Woman:
Everything's fine. Can I get a shot of Patron? I wanna put it in my lemonade

Man:
You should bring some more crab

Me:
Coming right up!

Time: 8:40ish pm

Man:
Hey! Bring some more crab

Time: 8:45ish pm

Man:
Thanks man! You should go order some more up

Me:
No problem, sir!

Time: 8:50ish pm

Man:
Man that's good! You should bring some more quick.

Me:
No problem, sir!

And on and on and on.......

Time 9:30pm

Me:
How was everything this evening?

Man:
Oh man! Everything was great!

Woman:
Thanks for everything!

Me:
Can I get you anything else this evening?

Man:
Just the check

Bill: $61.83

Me:
Here we go. Do you need any change or a credit card run?

Man:
No man! Keep the change!

In payment book: $64.00
Tip: $2.17

Me:
Here's your change guys. You obviously need it more than I do.

Needless to say I did what many a server wishes they could do. They kept it, so thus I got stiffed on a $62 tab.

It was worth it. To let them know they were cheap as hell was worth every penny. Would my superiors be angry? Yes. Do I care if guests like that never come back? NOT A CHANCE.

I can understand if the service was poor or they had some major complaints about me, BUT, they didn't. They would rather me self absorbed, ordering the best, then be able to afford to go out to dine, and that includes tipping. Tipping is a part of the dining experience that many no culture, no class people seem to forget about. Your server isn't there kissing your ass to make sure your happy because they have nothing better to do. The server knows their job is to exceed your expectations and give you the best experience possible. That's how we make our money. To throw our hard work back in our face because you're too ignorant to see outside your selfish little bubble is a shame and a blight to American society.

Thank you Gangsta Rap. Thank you Feminists (yes, middle aged women are some of the worst guests imaginable). Thank you President Obama. You have molded this country into a selfish, needy, reliant on everyone else to do things for you society, and to tell you the truth. It's sucks.

A day off in the middle of winter.

So it is a Monday. It's snowing like a banshee from hell, but it is Minnesota for god's sake. I'm in process of writing an outline of for a book. As you can see I'm not much of a writer but I have ideas and I think more than one person at a time needs to hear them. I'm at my place of employment having a beer, listening to some Bob Dylan and Blondie, typing, thinking and typing. I work at a busted ass restaurant in an even worse part of the country. People here, meaning the clientele, are classless, culture-less and for the most part disrespectful. I wasn't a racist until I returned back to the Midwest from Culinary School in Louisiana. People in Minnesota have a chip on their shoulder. I experienced what true and brutal racism was in Louisiana. African Americans here in the Midwest have no fucking idea. They all think everything is owed to them, liked they have been oppressed for years! Most of them aren't even old enough to know what that oppression was. In Minnesota, which is one of the most liberal, most giving and free states in the union, these people want to say they are oppressed!?! They're are some bad parts of Minneapolis, don't get me wrong, but these areas are also the most helped by the government. What does that tell you? It screams of laziness and lack of motivation to me. Why not do something for yourself instead of asking the government to do it for you? I used to live in NE Minneapolis and would have to go over to N Minneapolis to get groceries. I was there one day and there were some solicitors outside garnering support to call the Governor and the Senators to give them more money to clean up their streets. It's your problem! I don't feel I should have to pay for your fucked up culture and societal problems! It starts with the family. It starts with respect for yourself and for others. No one is owed anything in life. You need to earn everything you've got and guess what, a grill in your mouth, rims on your "85 Seville, or a pair of the new Jordan's isn't gonna do it Brotha!